Who’s In Charge of Your Life?

Have you ever had a “knee-jerk” reaction to something and then wondered, “Where did that come from?” Or, “Why did I get so angry over nothing?” I used to ask myself those questions. But then I started to associate with people who didn’t have extreme reactions to small things – or even big ones. And I got curious.

Have you ever wondered why some people seem peaceful – even joyful – most of the time, yet others are irksome curmudgeons who are disruptive and hurtful? I used to have a lot of them in my life. How about you? Do you know a few? Fortunately, I found people who were peaceful, loving, and joyful. After a while I began to see awareness they had that the more challenging people I encountered didn’t. They seemed to have discovered the “secret sauce,” that is, they were more “conscious” than others.

What do I mean by “conscious”? Basically, they were more awake. They understood that there is a subconscious mind that they need to have a conscious connection with. Various studies claim the subconscious mind takes in 11 million to 400 billion bits of information per second while the conscious mind can only process 50 to 2,000 bits. The studies data differ quite a bit. However, the point is that the subconscious mind takes in far more information than the conscious mind can process.

The “knee-jerk” (involuntary) reaction I referred to above arises when you are not aware that you’re making snap judgments based on information you’re pulling from the subconscious mind. Many (most?) of us seem to receive more negative input into our subconscious mind – about ourselves, about others, and about the world. Many of us are programmed from an early age to be wary of the unknown, not to trust people outside our community, to be afraid of people who appear different than us, or that we’re not good enough (or worthy, smart, attractive, or rich enough). And with negativity, sensationalism, and misinformation rampant on today’s various social media platforms, is it any wonder that we often feel the need to defend ourselves or lash out at others?

The subconscious mind isn’t good or bad. It passively accepts the external information it’s fed and stores it away to become available to the conscious mind. It doesn’t know or judge what’s true or false or what actually happened versus what didn’t.

It’s up to the conscious mind to decide how to interpret what is stored in the subconscious. It needs to make a conscious connection between the two and take control. But first you (your conscious mind) have to be aware that it’s your job to take charge. When you do that, you will have a more conscious connection with the people and world around you.

How do you know if you’re in control? One way is to ask yourself, “Is my life working? Am I happy? Do I feel fulfilled?” If your answer is “no,” then your subconscious mind could be running your life. Then the question becomes, how do you take control, once you discover you aren’t? That you’re aware is the first step, followed by the decision to take charge. This subject would fill volumes. But the shorthand answer is: hang out with people who are “awake,” distance yourself from negative people, find a coach or counselor, listen to motivational speakers, read transformational books, and apply the principles you learn. You won’t make the conscious connection overnight. However, when you work steadily toward the goal of being in control, you will succeed in living a more fulfilling life.

This article originally appeared in the Summer 2021 issue of CHOICES Magazine