Synchronicity Awareness – A Tale of Survival and Growth

“You have 90 days,” the notice stated. I had taken a personal day relaxing when a knock on the door and a hastily delivered piece of paper shattered my long-term plans and set into motion a year of fluctuating emotions and a series of “events that appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection.” Synchronicity, coincidences, serendipity? None of the above, or so I thought. There’s more.

For four years after moving out of my house into a rented duplex and leaving a forty-plus year marriage, I had envisioned buying my own home, but procrastinated. Now, there was no choice but to move and be out of my duplex in 90 days. The owners were re-purposing the entire rental complex.

A few months prior, an old acquaintance and I had rekindled a friendship thanks to a Facebook post. We discovered we had more in common in our new phase of life. Karen had gained years of experience as a real estate broker after moving away from our little town. She remarried, moved back and opened her own real estate agency.

Karen was the first person I called. I don’t remember much about that day between sobs and anxiety attacks. Karen picked me up—emotionally and physically (well, in her car)—and we spent the day looking at houses for sale. I had never bought a house on my own or made any major purchase, for that matter, as I had always depended on my husband to take care of the financing and details. I had zero confidence that I could even afford home ownership. I just needed a place to land in 90 days, a rental would do. But, Karen persevered.

Weeks later, we found THE house and the bank approved my loan based on several factors to include my income from my full-time job as a community college instructor. One day before the scheduled closing, I was summoned to Human Resources and told my full-time job was being down-sized to a part-time job thanks to massive budget cuts. I was no longer gainfully employed. The bank called and said I needed a job ASAP or the deal was off.

I was in shock after 22 years of working for the State and at age 65, I was being laid-off and soon to be homeless. Retirement was years away in my master plan. I was in good health, enjoyed teaching, and needed a few more years of retirement savings to feel comfortable. The bank reviewed my projected retirement income from both the State and Social Security and reapproved the loan. I retired from the State and applied for Social Security several months shy of my full-retirement age. I am now a proud homeowner and employed teaching part-time.

Has the dust settled? Am I now content rocking in my chair on the front porch? NO! This past year has been a roller-coaster of emotions and growth and self-discovery. Had it not been for the “eviction,” the reconnection with Karen; the lay-off, I would still be sitting on my derriere in my duplex, teaching full-time and not connecting the dots—although I enjoyed teaching, I felt emotionally drained and unfulfilled at my core due to neglecting my creative side.

Mother Universe has spoken to me loud and clear this past year. The signs had been there for years, yet I had chosen to ignore them—it was easier to maintain the status quo and stay safe. But, I knew I was not realizing my potential. I’m a creative soul, but for years I stayed so busy with lesson plans, academics, and just going through the motions of everyday life that I ignored my creativity—art and writing.

Dr. Bernard Beitman is the first psychiatrist since Carl Jung (who developed the concept of synchronicity in the 1920s) to formally study coincidences. As a visiting professor at the University of Virginia, Dr. Beitman has authored several books on the subject to include his latest “Connecting with Coincidence: The New Science for Using Synchronicity and Serendipity in Your Life.”

“Synchronicity helps with psychological development. Serendipity helps get things to happen; it’s about “being in the right place at the right time,” getting what you need right when you need it,” states Dr. Bernard Beitman.

On his website coincider.com, Dr. Beitman suggests using his book to “help you recognize more coincidences in your daily life.” And, the recognition can help with “decision making, psychological changes, relationships, health questions, creativity, money problems, job issues, and spiritual development.” His book is not a panacea or magic bullet, but I have found his rationale and pragmatic approach to what some may deem as “voodoo science” to be useful in my daily awareness and personal growth.

Here are few take-away points from Dr. Beitman:

1. Activate and Exercise Our Observing Selves – “Our observing self is that part of our awareness that monitors our mental activity.” (For many years, I had squashed the awareness of my mental activity, although my dreams were often about creativity.)
2. Use Synchronicity Awareness as a Spiritual Path – “Meaningful coincidences demonstrate that our minds and our environments are connected.” (Having ignored my inner being and that “still, small voice,” I was spiritually deficient and not fulfilling my potential.)
3. Avoid Over-weighing Coincidences in Decision Making – “Coincidences can be informed decision making but cannot be relied upon as the sole reason for a decision.” (Although overwhelmed with my sequence of events—the “eviction,” the lay-off, my reconnection with Karen who encouraged me to buy a house, I carefully weighed my options before filing for retirement and purchasing my house.)

As I continue to heal, grow, and become more aware of my “observing self,” I have learned to expect and even anticipate coincidences in my everyday life. As Dr. Beitman so beautifully says, “Synchronicity awareness then becomes part of the fluid landscape of our minds.”

This article originally appeared in the Spring 2018 issue of CHOICES Magazine