The Choice is Yours: A Reason, A Season, Or A Lifetime

When I was growing up and things sometimes didn’t go the way I thought they should, my parents would remind me, “Everything happens for a reason.”

I always wondered if that was true. What about people and relationships? Do we meet people because we are supposed to? Do people leave us so we can learn a lesson? What was that old saying…something about people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime?

And do we meet people by chance? It seems sometimes we do, but is it coincidence or synchronicity? Did your path cross because you had a specific need and the Universe sent this person to help you get through a difficulty or provide you with guidance or support either physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Then when the need is no longer there, they move on, but our need has been met.

What about those people we meet for only a few minutes or hours who say or do something that you needed at that exact moment. I feel they are the ones we meet for a reason. I will never forget the man in the parking lot of the hospital who left a red rose on the windshield of my car while I was visiting my brother who had been horribly injured. I caught a glimpse of him as he walked away and smiled at me. He brought happiness and love to an otherwise very sad day.

When they come into our lives for a season, it’s probably because it’s our turn to grow, learn, or share. Sometimes they bring joy and make us laugh, sometimes they bring pain and in time, we see the lesson in the experience. Sometimes they teach us new things or help us have new adventures. Sometimes they just shake things up making us look at things in a different way or do something differently than we’ve ever done before. My friend, Vimmie, really shook up my life when he invited me to go to South Africa. Of course, I believe he never thought I’d actually go, but I did, and it changed my life radically. (But that’s a story for another day.)
It’s possible that our seasonal people didn’t intend on leaving us, perhaps they had to move, or they passed on. But, our lives were better for having known them.

When they come into our lives for a lifetime, we have built that relationship on a strong foundation of mutual trust. We accept each other for who we are and help each other become better people, cope with our disappointments, share our joys, understand who we are and who we are supposed to be. We laugh together, cry together. We go through happy times, successful times, disappointing times, and sad times. We don’t always have to talk. Sometimes, we can just be. These are the people who help us remember who we really are.

My friend, Paul, is one of these lifetime choices. We have known each other for 60 years. We went to school together, created the high school year book together, produced plays and musicals together, went to the 20 year reunion together. He visited me when I lived in Africa. I stayed at his home in Kansas. We’ve shared our ups and downs, successes, and heartaches. We have a lot of differences as well. Yet, we always have respect for one another. When I am with him, I like me better!

Every person who comes into our lives has a lesson for us. There are those who teach us, those who hurt us, those who took us for granted, those who remind us, those who encourage us, and those who love us. You didn’t meet any of them by chance. You met them for the lesson. It is up to you to choose whether you learn the lesson and use the knowledge you have gained to understand and appreciate the experience.

This article originally appeared in the Summer 2021 issue of CHOICES Magazine