True Intent with Horsepower

Old Grey Mare lived and died on her own terms. Wild and free, and in her last hours, surrounded by her herd, who stood silent on a ridge above her. They held the sacred space and quietly grieved her passing. She was an estimated 32 years old. For months, she refused to come down the mountain to receive special care or feed from Return to Freedom Sanctuary caretakers. She wanted to stay with her herd, even if she was now a bit slower and weaker.

I had no idea I would be the last human to interact with her. Three days earlier, I was sitting on that mountainside in central California, rimmed by the mighty Pacific Ocean. It was impossible to imagine, looking at her thin, frail, hollowed-out skeletal body, that she had once been a fierce, strong, and powerful lead mare, who for years had guided her herd to food and water or to protection from potential dangers. I felt such a deep connection to her, felt it in my body, soul, and mind. Her unspoken, wise messages flowed to me while she kept a curious eye on me as she grazed a few feet from where I sat in the tall grass. “Be patient, don’t let anyone control your actions, live on your own terms, and lead with certainty and intent!” Those words are with me every day in everything I do.

In the past decade (in my fifties), I have launched two successful businesses and have partnered to collaborate on numerous projects with several other women, so I appropriately call myself a mature entrepreneur. I am also a ‘lead mare’. Generally, a lead mare is an older female who has gained wisdom and experience, is respected for her ability to settle conflicts peacefully, and can provide direction, guiding the herd to safety and resources. She can assert dominance, and she leads with clear communication and intent. Together with the lead stallion and a few sentinels who guard the periphery, the lead mare shares responsibility for the herd’s safety, which enables the more vulnerable members, other mares, and foals to graze and conserve energy. I embody this entirely!

Full of courage and curiosity and with an explorer’s mindset, I am inspiring, free-thinking, fearless, and empathic. Have there been self-doubts? Absolutely. Without doubt, there can be no conflict; without conflict, there can be no conversation, and without conversation, there can be no intent or action. You need intent to lead successful businesses, set the strategy, market the ideas and content, and service clients.

My ability to set intent was shaped through horse wisdom. So was my ability to set healthy boundaries. Wisdom passed on to me from my first interaction with these sentient beings at age five and further from the guidance and healing I have received from my high-spirited Arabian lead mare, Lola, who came into my life 14 years ago. So, I was not surprised when I received the message from Old Grey Mare. Horses set clear boundaries with each other all the time. It keeps the herd safe and in order. Often, when women try to set stronger boundaries, we then ruminate over whether we hurt someone’s feelings, or they stop liking us. Setting boundaries does not mean erecting a rigid wall or saying a hard “NO”; finding that balance is a skill. Patience is a virtue lest you miss something important if you move too fast. Being controlled by others and not having your own authentic voice can lead to resentment, compromised values, and a sense of judgment and loss. Having no direction or intent can cause disconnect and misalignment with our goals.

Applying this powerful wisdom to humans is a valuable lesson in leadership. Any female leader or entrepreneur who has faced self-doubt, made themselves small, or experienced imposter syndrome, a feeling of not belonging, not being seen or heard, can benefit from lead mare lessons. This is the wisdom I am passionate about bringing to other females dreaming about starting their own businesses. Be true to yourself and lead with intent, clarity, and certainty. Embrace the self-doubts that are sure to pop up. Be patient, emotionally agile, and strong in adversity and uncertainty.

This article originally appeared in the Summer 2024 issue of CHOICES Magazine