Why it is Easy to Confuse Destiny with Individual Responsibility

When I think about destiny, the immediate thoughts that come to my mind are the times I’ve heard others who have met the love in their lives, say, “It was destiny that we met.” Whether that is true or not for them is not for anyone else to decide. But each time I hear a similar statement, it makes me reflect on how destiny has been a part of my own life and those times when happenings have been out of my control. It always leaves me with much to consider.

There are two basic different philosophies regarding destiny. The popular western view is that we are in control of our lives and everything that happens to us is a result of our own choices. On the other hand, the popular eastern view is that everything that happens to us is not under our control and we are nothing but puppets in a preordained plan.

I believe as we have become more open to spirituality, we’ve come to recognize that there is a power greater than ourselves that has influence over our lives. That has taken some of the pressure off us from feeling the responsibility that it is up to us to design every aspect of our life, minute by minute. As good as that relief sounds, I believe as we have grown closer to the eastern viewpoint of destiny, we have been more unwilling to take responsibility for anything bad that happens in our lives.

The Spiritual Science Research Foundation has a simple way of explaining what I mean.

“An example of willful action: Suppose there is a person who is drunk and has a badly maintained car. In a drunken state, he decides to drive his car down a steep mountain side and he does so at high speed. If he were to at some point skid off the road down the mountain side, whose fault would it be? Would that be an accident caused by destiny or an accident caused by willful action?

It is willful action as he could have chosen not to drink and drive. He could have ensured his car was better serviced and could have driven slowly.

An example of a destined event: Take the case of another driver who is sober. He drives carefully and maintains his car in perfect condition. He, too, drives down the same mountainside observing all precautions. All of a sudden, a portion of the road collapses due to a landslide and he meets with an accident. In this case, the person had no control over the landslide that occurred and hence, this is a destined event.”

I have reached a point in my life where I seem to question everything about destiny because nothing makes sense to me. I have questioned why destiny allows the amount of suffering to go on around the world…the mud slides, the hurricanes and tornadoes, the floods, the fires, illness, and the list goes on. For what purpose?

Or, do those happenings have nothing to do with destiny? Perhaps those things have more to do with the amount of hostility and negative energy that we humans have created to the point where that energy is what makes Mother Nature demonstrate her displeasure, simply to get our attention and become more loving in all ways.

I have to believe that to live a fulfilling life there needs to be a partnership between the eastern and western philosophies so that we can understand how to create our destiny while allowing our destiny to blossom. For each of us, that is a choice.

This article originally appeared in the Spring 2019 issue of CHOICES Magazine