In the tapestry of time, the image of a woman has evolved, yet some threads from the past still linger, weaving a prototype that doesn’t quite fit the modern woman of the 21st century. As we navigate the complexities of our roles as mothers, wives, and professionals, it becomes evident that the archetype of selfless service passed down through generations may not align with our true essence and aspirations.

Reflecting on the strength and resilience of my grandmother, always ready to serve without a hint of weariness, I found myself grappling with the challenge of meeting everyone’s needs while maintaining a façade of perpetual happiness. Then, I began to question the age-old prototype imposed upon women. This paradigm demands selflessness, the suppression of desires, and an unrelenting commitment to the needs of others.

For many women striving to advance in their careers while juggling familial responsibilities, the result is often burnout. The pressure to conform to an outdated model leaves them physically and emotionally drained, compromising their well-being and hindering their pursuit of personal dreams.

The time has come to redefine the role model for women, breaking free from the shackles of inherited paradigms. Our generation serves as torchbearers, illuminating the path for those who follow. It’s an era for letting go of antiquated notions and crafting healthier prototypes that resonate with the women of today.

At the heart of this transformation is the rediscovery of joy—a missing element in the traditional prototype. We have forgotten the art of enjoying, resting, and simply being absent from the archaic “manual” guiding women through centuries. To embark on this journey of change, we must first acknowledge the patterns anchoring us to the old paradigm and consciously adopt new, liberating behaviors that allow for joy and success without the burden of guilt.

This monumental shift, however, doesn’t occur overnight. The weight of guilt and feelings of worthlessness immobilize us each time we deviate from the prescribed roles of a woman, mother, and spouse. The key lies in establishing clear and firm boundaries that create the necessary space for personal evolution and creativity.

Boundaries extend beyond allocating time and energy; they include protecting physical space and fostering an environment conducive to self-discovery and growth. We can only pose the crucial question: “What do I want?” and genuinely listen to the answer within these self-defined boundaries. Without such deliberate space, we risk remaining trapped in draining cycles, unable to break free from the confines of outdated expectations.

Recreating a healthier prototype demands a commitment to listening to our authentic desires and needs. It calls for an embrace of our true essence, one that craves creativity, flow, and joy. By doing so, we gift future generations of women with the freedom to be themselves.

Taking it one step at a time, claiming space, and safeguarding it through boundaries can work wonders. It’s a transformative journey that allows us to break free from the constraints of an old prototype, paving the way for a new, empowered era of womanhood.

This article originally appeared in the Winter 2024 issue of CHOICES Magazine