Six Steps Through the Back Door

Have you ever lost something important to you? What can you do when you lose a loved one, a job, or your health? How can you prepare for a very real earth shattering change? There are no short cuts, but there is a back door. And I can lead you through.

First, let me say that it is much easier to tackle something when you are prepared. The athlete prepares for his challenges by engaging in challenge. Have you ever noticed how easy it is for a fit person to climb a flight of stairs? It makes sense to get strong and stay strong.

But, few of us train for the inevitable train wreck! Then it happens. A disruption of the worst kind. What then? Since no one’s life is free from trouble, it pays to be proactive and develop yourself before trouble hits. You do this by building your resources.

Build your “Resource Empire”

Think of the last big tragedy in your life. Were you able to bounce back quickly? Often, for a time, you may find yourself trapped in what I call a circle of fear, revisiting the same old thoughts of panic and dread. What I suggest is developing some very important resources. Get to work building your resource empire.

Disrupt the circle of fear and its illusions

When we are quick to judge ourselves, we think, “if only I were more flexible, more adaptable; what’s wrong with me?” We are faced with the illusion that we are not good enough or no one understands us, and that we are all alone.
In the six secrets that follow, you will discover a process to regain your footing from any travesty. If you are wise, you will train and become fit so you can handle anything that happens to you. Let’s look at how you can invest in yourself.

This is the back door:

1. Be grateful. Write out what you are grateful for and feel joyous when you think of all the good in your life. This puts you in a good vibration. It works if you are trying to fight your way out of depression. It rewires your brain to be positive and hopeful. And it helps you navigate stormy seas when they arise.

2. Strengthen your mind. Decide to be a lifelong learner, and cultivate your will, your memory, and your ability to reason. No one gets mentally fit without effort. Read. Take a class. Avoid negative suggestions and spend time listening to positive, uplifting messages.

3. Create intentional interactions with others. Decide who you will interact with and how. Learn to make friends and how to influence people in an encouraging way. Let others help you. When you are intentional about your interactions, communicating becomes a much safer thing to do.

4. Practice reflection. I often say, “Look, see what you see, not what someone tells you to see.” Begin to understand cause and effect more clearly, and be responsible for the outcomes of your actions.

5. Replace old habits with new ones that bring you closer to your ideal life. When you become good at creating habits, you become more resilient.

6. Work on awareness. As you develop your imagination, intuition, and perception, you will naturally become more aware. Realize there is a grand design. You are playing a role in something much bigger than yourself.

Mitigate loss by developing yourself. You will be investing in the one thing no one can take away from you- you.

This article originally appeared in the Autumn 2018 issue of CHOICES Magazine