“If there are not any opportunities, how can there be possibilities? Without possibilities, how can one be empowered?”

Why do you say that? I believe she meant for us to look deeper than the obvious. I believe the author meant for us to look into the blank spaces and see what might be there, if we look closer.

That might work for you, but I have to deal with reality. I need black and white, not gray blank space to work with!

I am sure you know black and white is what makes gray. Laughter circled the room, the uneasiness settled and back into the book discussion the conversation went.

The chatter of the women and their laughter filled the hallway as each woman made her way into the large room. In the far left, back corner, sofas and chairs awaited as though beckoning the women to come and share their thoughts with each other once again.

Few of the women actually knew each other prior to meeting in the book club. The book club had started out with 12 women but had become more of a core group, made up of six to eight on a good day. Each woman being at that so called retired point in life. The group, other than being at or near the same age, had very little else in common. Or, so they thought.

The group had few hard-core rules except to always choose a book that was uplifting and would challenge status quo thinking. Oh, and do be respectful of each other’s thoughts and opinions please. This usually made for some lively discussions punctuated with laughter. Discussions that slowly, over time turned to sharing life events. Those shared life events took the group into a direction of unspoken greater purpose. The book club had become more than an intellectual sharing of ideas about what the author had meant to say, and more of a time to say what was otherwise unspoken in their day-to-day lives.

The group being made up of a retired nurse or two, a teacher, a shop owner, a retired attorney, a CEO, and other ladies from various backgrounds. These are women who know how to be in charge of their lives. Each woman had sixty plus years of life experiences and little reservation in sharing their opinions, on everything from the newest and best restaurant to world politics. Having such a well-read group of women together was exciting, but on that day, it all changed.

“If there are not any opportunities, how can there be possibilities? Without possibilities how can one be empowered?” Those questions took the air out of the room. There was a feeling as though the world had stopped for a moment in order to adjust itself. Each woman sat up a little straighter and became noticeably still. That type of stillness that comes from deep reflection. Who, would have the depth, beyond the intellectual boxes of thinking each woman had designed in her life time, to answer such a question?

The silence was broken by the quietest voice of all. She said, “I always wanted to be a mother. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a mother.” Each woman looked a little closer at this lady…wondering what she really meant. She went on to say how she had achieved her nursing degree and had still felt unfulfilled. The opportunity to be a mother had not been there. This statement brought nervous giggles. She went on to say, it was not until she gave herself permission to be a full-time mother that she realized being a mother was what she had always wanted.

In that moment, of giving herself permission to step outside of the expectations other people had for her, she took one of the greatest steps of her life.

Today, she is not only a mother but a grandmother and, yes, she beams all over when sharing her journey. Becoming a mother was not easy. Mainly because of an illness early in her life and doctors saying you will never be able to conceive. But, conceive a child, she did; two, as a matter of fact.

It was in that moment, each woman in her own way, realized, opportunity is what we see when we give ourselves the authority and power to be authentic. Empowerment is only one thought away.

This article originally appeared in the Summer 2018 issue of CHOICES Magazine