Gratitude is God’s Magnet

Across the room from our family table at the Easter Brunch in a five-diamond hotel I could see the amazing Smokey Robinson dining with two others. My son worked at this hotel so it was not OK to bother any celebrities we might see there.

As the meal continued, I looked up to see Smokey was looking directly at me! I placed my hand over my heart and mouthed the words, “Thank you for the music.”

To my amazement, he stood up and walked toward me. I stood and extended my hand. He brushed it aside with a huge smile and said, “Bring it in.” Then, he hugged me! Smokey Robinson, one of the most famous and accomplished singer/songwriters in the world initiated a hug with me. I introduced myself and he asked to meet my family. What a generous and gracious guy!

We did not ask to take selfies, nor did we seek an autograph, but we were thrilled to interact with him briefly.

At the conclusion of my speeches, I usually spend time meeting audience members and discussing some of the ideas I present. This is precious time for me, because I get to see how the ideas might help people and the ways in which they most likely will apply the concepts in their lives. One of the audience comments I have received on multiple occasions is, “What I appreciated most about your presentation is your sincerity.” What a great compliment!

My message is about being genuine, telling the truth and being of value to your customers and colleagues. I tell people to “Become the person who would attract the results you seek.” So, when someone acknowledges my sincerity, they are speaking directly to my intent.

What is the greatest “thank you” you have ever received? When has someone taken time to acknowledge something that matters to you? I suspect you remember it vividly and it still feels good to think about it.

The beauty of gratitude is that it doesn’t have to be big nor sophisticated. When it is coming from a true emotion, we treasure it. And anyone can do it!

No training, advanced intellect, language skill or level of social position is needed. All it takes is for one human to sincerely acknowledge another. And it is best when what we comment on is something that matters a lot to the person we are complimenting or thanking. That’s why Smokey was so responsive to my simple gesture.

Just think, what do they care about? What are they trying to do? What matters to them, that others probably don’t notice much? Just be specific about what you are grateful for.

If you want to express gratitude to someone famous, don’t do what most people do: “Oh, my gosh! It is so great to see you! I love your work! I’m such a big fan! Could I please take a selfie with you?” They hate it when people act like this. Notice that the whole gushing statement above is all about the fan, not the celebrity. Instead, think about things from their point of view. What is it they care about or are proud of? Acknowledge that.

Once I was on a flight with singer Lee Ann Rhimes. We were seated near each other in the first-class cabin. I smiled at her and said, “Good morning. You are Lee Ann, correct?” She said, yes. I replied, “When you get a minute, I have a compliment for you.” She smiled and said, “Sure.” Then a few minutes later when she was settled into her seat, she looked over at me to indicate we could talk. I told her, “I have a friend who is not a country music fan, but he saw you perform a song with Rheba McIntyre and told me, now he is a fan for life! You really blew him away.” She accepted the compliment gracefully and that concluded our chat. A nice interaction, about her, not me.

Once in the Atlanta airport, I saw a busboy clearing tables in a busy restaurant. He was among the saddest people I had ever seen but he continued to do his work. I walked over to him and said, “What you are doing sure does make a difference.” He didn’t understand. I suspect he didn’t get compliments or gratitude often, if ever. So, he looked at me in confusion. I replied, “This restaurant is really busy and the fact that you are cleaning the tables means that more people can come in and dine without concern over cleanliness or a mess. What you are doing really matters. I just wanted to say Thank You for doing it.” Then I walked away.

I looked back a moment later and he appeared to have transformed! He was almost smiling, standing straighter and doing his work a tiny bit better. Why? Because someone showed him the value in what he was doing. Someone cared enough about him to acknowledge him positively. The compliment or gratitude you express may be the most important moment in someone’s day.

My speech coach, Ron Arden, told me, “Jim, I took time to acknowledge an elderly couple in a restaurant last week, like you talk about in your speeches, I went over to pay them a compliment. They seemed to be so much in love and so happy to be together that I felt someone should acknowledge it. So, I did. I knew that would make them feel good, but what surprised me was how good it made ME feel!”

Thankfulness is a gift we give ourselves. It is also one of the most attractive qualities a person can have. When we encounter a grateful soul, we want to give them even more. It is as if gratitude were a magnet for more good things. Thankfulness is the highest form of praise. Be grateful for the many blessings you receive, even indirectly. Find the good in each day. Openly acknowledge the good around you and more of it will seek you out.

Who should you take time to thank today?

This article originally appeared in the Autumn 2021 issue of CHOICES Magazine