Being indecisive in life can be a hindrance. An inability to make decisions leads to missed opportunities and possible failure in our goals. Decisions are, of course, not always easy, and certainly should not be rushed when important.

There are extremes when it comes to decision making with some people struggling to make choices while others plough through blindly without thinking. It is important to avoid overshooting a more decisive attitude to life and blundering into bad decisions.

Don’t Be Afraid to Fail

One of the biggest mental blocks we face when making choices can often be our own fear of failing. Psychologist Guy Winch Ph.D. suggests that some people are so afraid of failing that their motivation to avoid disappointment overrides their motivation to succeed. Failing can make people disappointed, angry, frustrated, regretful and sad.

If you are afraid that you will fail, you may shy away from important decisions, and this is not a good thing. To let go of this fear of failing, it is important to reach a new understanding of what failure is. Everyone who has achieved success in this life has encountered failure. It’s an unavoidable circumstance and should be viewed as a learning experience. Making a choice and failing is education for the next choice you make.

Focus on Now

When being more decisive, it is important to focus strongly on what is happening right now. Some people may dwell on the past and situations which have no bearing now. As an example, some people avoid choosing to get married because they saw their parents’ union fall apart. The fear of someone else’s failure can sometimes affect our decisions.

It’s not only the past that affects our decision making, sometimes an unrealistic view of the future can do so as well. Over planning something can lead to irrational assumptions regarding your decisions.

People may shy away from making choices because they attach unrelated consequences. As an example, someone who wants to be a doctor but is worried their workload will be so high they won’t have time for a family. Focus mainly on now, not the past and not an overly planned future.

Slow Down to Ease the Fear

Slow and steady wins the race. This may seem like a cliche based on a childish story of a tortoise and hare, but it is more than that. The message is important, rushing into something can lead to mistakes. When mistakes happen, this can lead to failure and, of course, for those who fear this, it leads to indecisiveness.

Unless you are a firefighter, police officer, medical professional, or member of the armed forces your decisions will seldom be life and death. Take your time in making decisions, think them through. Ultimately, taking a step back to consider your alternatives will lead you to more informed choices and less stress.

They Are Your Decisions

A big source of anxiety for some people when it comes to making choices is a fear of letting people down. This could be parents, friends, romantic partners, or work colleagues. It’s true that sometimes our choices affect others, and we may have to consider them. There are, however, plenty of times in our lives where the choice is ours alone and no one else’s opinion matters.

Our parents may think we should be doctors, lawyers or some other high-status professional. That may not be the thing that is right for us and, ultimately, we have our own lives. If we want to be a chef or a professional athlete, that is our choice. Make the choice you know is right for you.

This article originally appeared in the Autumn 2021 issue of CHOICES Magazine