Don’t Get Caught Being the “Monkey in the Middle”

By Joan S. Peck

Most of us have played the “Monkey in the Middle” game as kids. For those who may not know the game, it is where one stands in the middle and is designated as the monkey. The other players throw a ball to each other, back and forth, keeping it away from the one in the middle. The challenge is for the monkey to get the ball.

That is what the problem can be for entrepreneurs who are continuously involved with their businesses. Others try to grab their attention and distract them from what they should or could be doing, and, in time, they become the monkey in the middle!

And it’s so easy to get caught like that. It usually begins with small requests from friends or business colleagues needing your assistance or wanting to socialize with you. But, like anything else, those requests may become demands unless curtailed.

By being women with an innate desire to be helpful, we may find it challenging to set boundaries and make room for ourselves and our business, which continuously needs our attention.

I’ve discovered that if I give too much of myself away to satisfy another’s needs, I resent the time taken from me. Whose fault is that? I must remind myself that it’s certainly not the person asking for my attention because I alone control my life and choices.

Another perspective about becoming the monkey in the middle is that you stand alone, heightening the thought that you, as an entrepreneur, must do everything yourself. That idea is a downward spiral that gets you nowhere, for once you are afraid to let go of controlling all aspects of your business, you limit its growth and perhaps even cause its death.

As the monkey, getting those around you to support you and your business becomes your challenge. And it’s not as difficult as you may think. When you loosen the reins of your company, you release the stress and tension of doing everything yourself and begin to enjoy the camaraderie brought on by having others supporting you and creating with you.

The question often arises as to how you gather those people around you. It’s pretty simple…you ask for their support. Once they are on board, it is up to you to acknowledge and thank them in all the ways you can. Appreciation gives flight to creativity while it soothes the soul.

Like that poor monkey in the middle, no one wants to be excluded from everything around them. No one wants to feel alone—especially you, as an entrepreneur. It’s important to gather like-minded people around you, give back, and share with them and others the things you’ve learned that will help them succeed. The more you give, the more is returned to you. Yet, the bottom line of everything in life is our choice.
As a fan of Dr. Seuss, I’ll read through some of his quotes at times. I read this one and thought it was perfect for this article. What do you think?
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”
– Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

This article originally appeared in the Winter 2024 issue of CHOICES Magazine