In every step forward lies the beauty of self-realization.

We try to encourage the next generation from the day they are born. We support and guide, aiming to be the best role models for those little eyes gazing up at us, hoping to achieve all of life’s dreams.

So, at what point does that change? At what point do we acknowledge the impostor syndrome, the fear, and the preconditions—the fear of rejection, abandonment, and not knowing our way?
As a woman, there are many stages in life where our entire world transforms and sometimes collides, but ultimately, we’re just navigating the next chapter.

It’s like a caterpillar in a cocoon, waiting to become a butterfly but potentially having several opportunities in our lives to rebirth into our new, next-level self.

During adolescence, you may be able to relate to the feeling that your peers and acquaintances are the most important people in your entire existence. The fear of not knowing what we wanted to be when we grew up, but the excitement of the potential freedom once our exams were finished, all those hormonal fluctuations and emotional challenges we endured.

It may surprise you that the journey into motherhood, wobbles and all, are the same cornerstones for transformation, core foundations. Also, there are changes in our identity, relationship dynamics, emotional fluctuations, and questioning the sanity of who I am now.

With all those core foundations and feelings, we must remember to back ourselves, to go back to that young, vulnerable baby who knew no bounds, who wanted to explore the world, who bounced with joy, pride, and connection that is still within us. It’s that we get blinkered with the everyday hustle.

The buzzword is definitely self-care, but what does that even mean? Some people say it is taking time to bathe and relax, but realistically, self-care is loving your inner child. It’s loving the new, unfamiliar stages we experience. It’s embracing our new selves and new becoming because life is a continuous growth journey.

To achieve all the success, life balance, and everything in between, we must invest in ourselves, that investment to support us to keep growing, to encourage us with external validation, should we need whatever it takes, whatever we need to remain focused on our dreams and aspirations.

My client, Zoe, is one example. We had worked together for a while, and it soon became apparent that she wanted a mentorship program with me rather than a short burst of support. I can honestly say I know this woman inside out. Her career was in a great place; she had a steady income, exceptional expertise in her field, and could do the job with her eyes closed. She reached out to me because she knew she wanted more. She was burnt out, and although she was an avid learner of all things personal development, she knew she needed more. The blocks and the two steps forward, but one step back had her literally like a rabbit in the headlights.

During our time together, her only daughter was due to jet set and go traveling. I knew what was coming and was there, ready to travel with her to her newfound identity. The once-elusive goals of the future were suddenly within reach, but the reality was that her mumpreneur’s journey was about to begin.

She often told me that I had the patience of a saint and that I’d helped her to see what she’s got sitting right in front of her this whole time. She had spent so long feeling blocked, caged, anxious, and tired that she hadn’t realized she had been quietly building an empire’s foundations. I helped her make sense of life, what’s important to her, and why she gets out of bed each day. The support and guidance for this client were a pleasure; the encouragement and support along the way helped her to see her superpowers and become unapologetically her. Not as a mom, a friend, or partner but as Zoe, the powerful woman who stands before me, ready to take on her dreams and redefine her success on her terms.

The best analogy I have ever used about coaching and making investments is that it’s similar to hiring a personal trainer for fitness. We do not spend our hard-earned money to be taught how to lift a weight or run on a treadmill. We invest in ourselves to be accountable, to have a cheerleader, and to be encouraged to succeed. Normally, they set us tasks that we really don’t want to do, but we know deep down that it will lead to breakthroughs and the best version of ourselves.

Often, we women in business get asked, “What do you really want?” and every time, the reply is everything we don’t want! So, I invite you to become the detective. Ask yourself, what is it you want more than anything? If you dig deep into this, ask yourself what habits and beliefs you need. Permit yourself to dream big and encourage yourself to become the next-level version of yourself because you are enough and deserve more. You may even surprise yourself with what you put on paper.

This article originally appeared in the Spring 2024 issue of CHOICES Magazine